It's rather sad that for so many in both business and personal life, Christmas has become the exact opposite of what it's supposed to be - a highly stressful indulgence in excess. You may not be surprised to know that the suicide rate peaks at Christmas. The expectations are so completely out of sync with most people's reality. It has all the classic ingredients of a stressful event, where what you believe to be expected of you is completely beyond you. Furthermore there is no one to turn to because everyone is involved in their own Christmas arrangements.
Fortunately for myself, though being part of a family that celebrates Christmas, I have no emotional attachment or expectations, and while I can be happy for others, I am immune to any kind of peer pressure. I think that there would be a lot less unhappiness at Christmas if people just stopped and asked themselves the question WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!
I would like to offer some helpful advice to those who are absolutely sick of being miserable at Christmas, whether you're stressed, lonely or just plain skint. They all boil down to a fundamental choice: just blindly carrying on being stressed frustrated and disappointed or making a stand and saying NO! You may be surprised to discover that the gates of hell don't suddenly open for most people. Quite the reverse, they feel like a great burden has been lifted from them. You only have the one short life so why spend another moment of it in dread of the season of Badwill?
ONLY BUY WHAT YOU NEED - Don't waste money on things that no one will eat anyway or feel pressured into eating. If you don't like it and/or it won't get eaten, save your money!
DON'T DO IT IF YOU HATE IT Just because it's "traditional" doesn't make it necessary. Our family Christmas dinner is roast beef because that's what we like!
DON'T INVITE IN PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE - Burdensome family members are like vampires, they can only come in and suck you dry if they're invited in! If you don't like that family member, why on earth or you inviting them into the very heart of your life? This is a lose/lose situation - bad vibes tend to get picked up on! Both of you will be a lot happier apart. You and they are adults with responsibility and choices - you don't "owe" anyone access to your home, family or otherwise. You will not be doing anybody any good terms by offering hospitality under duress. In the same way, refuse point blank to go to houses where you're made to feel uncomfortable. Just say no! Again, all parties will be happier.
DON'T ATTEMPT TO SPEND CHRISTMAS IN DENIAL - If you have issues or unhappiness, don't pretend it's not there like the elephant in the living room. Acknowledge and accomodate that unhappiness. Be honest with people and say you cannot be happy this Christmas because... Those who counsel to "make an effort" are simply not helping, so certainly don't be anywhere around them this Christmas!
SET CLEAR LIMITS - Go into Christmas at both work and at home realistic about what you can accept. Do not attempt to endure situations beyond that limit. Keep saying NO!! If you and everyone else around you knows where the boundaries are in advance, there will be no embarrassing faux pas. If you are in a family, there may need to be some compromise, but get that compromise thrashed out in advance. An impasse means that it's best that some people stay apart.
Of course there are families for whom Christmas is a joyous family get-together. Good luck to them, and I would not want to stand in their way. However, many of us don't have that experience and it is folly to pretend that we will. It is in the interest of everyone to get real and work the season around what's really going on in people's lives. The choice is to carry on with a stressful charade of excess or showing a real spirit of goodwill by meeting people where they are.
