Defining Moments In Life

I would like to thank Mrs H for sharing from her copy of UCB–Word for Today, Spring 2010 edition. It reads:

"In our life, defining moments actually show us who we are. Our defining moments usually come as a big surprise and happen during times of crisis, such as facing personal failure, taking an unpopular stand, (speaking the truth), being asked to forgive or make a hard choice.

Sometimes defining moments occur when we don’t see them for what they are. It’s only afterwards, as we look back, that we understand their importance. Either way, they define who we are.

Secondly, defining moments show others who we are. Most days we can wear a mask, but during defining moments we can’t. Our image means nothing.. Neither does our resolve or connections. We’ve no time to spin our actions. Whatever is truly inside us is revealed to everyone. As a leader defining moments tell the people who are following you who you really are, what you stand for, and why you’re leading.

Handled well, a defining moment can bond leaders and followers for life. Handled poorly, it can end your ability to lead.

Thirdly, defining moments determine who we will become. You’ll never be the same person after a defining moment. That’s because defining moments are not normal, and what’s ‘normal’ does not work in these times.

Defining moments are like intersections in our lives – they give us an opportunity to turn, change direction, and seek a new destination. They present options and opportunities.

In these moments, we must choose. And the choice we make will define us!"

This helped me recently with a defining moment in my career and life. I had the opportunity to either spiral into self-pity or to grow from the defining moment. Initially I felt myself wanting to drop into self-pity but realised I would actually gain nothing from this choice. In fact time, would be wasted of which I had little anyway.

I went for a long walk. It's times like these that I am grateful that we live close to the water. I always feel recharged after being 'beside the sea'.

I decided not to waste time on what was clearly someone else's issue/jealously with me. I had triggered them and although this was not my intention, I had done the best I could in that circumstance. If I could have done better I would already have done so. The person had tools as well to be able to deal with what I had triggered and so I felt that I could lay this issue to rest.

When I reflect back I know if this had happened 10 or even 5 years ago, I would have jumped in 'boots and all' to "defend" myself. Telling everyman and his dog about how I was the 'victim' in this situation. Would it have resolved it? Nope.

What would I have got out of it? Pity, lots of negative energy, kept myself connected energetically to the person, the situation and circumstance.Nothing positive really.

I took a step back (after much tapping & clearing). Using the tools of EFT (the Emotional Freedom Techniques) and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming I decided the best way forward was to let go. As my business name suggests - Release...Peace.

I remembered a quote I had read:

"We are all wounded by the wounded. We are all victims of victims."

People will lash out at us, but often it's not us they are angry or upset about.

The hurt goes further back or deeper than that. Usually it extends back in time to our childhood. Without the tools of EFT, NLP or even Hypnosi unresolved hurts lay dormant until a day comes when someone trips our wire and the wounded part (s) of us come out fighting. And this can happen again... and again.... and again... until we come to the realization the only constant in all those situations is us! When is it time for a change?

I resolved it was time for me to let go and come back to a place of Peace. If you notice that you get triggered regularly and get angry/upset just remember this quote:

“For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”
Anon

And if you are ready to make a change and free yourself from limiting behaviours, patterns or beliefs that have been there since childhood, feel free to contact me. Are you ready to allow more happiness into your life right now?